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Ask Autistic Advocates is an interview series that celebrates autism and how it enhances our lives.

Each week, a new interviewee gives readers a glimpse into what makes them, them, and how autism has helped shaped their lives.

Today’s interview is a little different as the interviewee isn’t autistic herself, but she has worked with autistic individuals for 13+ years as a Specialist Advisory Teacher. Therefore, has the ability to provide a unique insight into how autistic people learn and develop, as well as outlining what needs to change within our educational system and society to allow autistic people to excel in their chosen path. 

Contineue reading to get to know the teacher you wish you had, Rebecca Duffus.

Tell us a bit about yourself

My name is Rebecca, I’m 34 (that’s still early thirties right?!) and based in South London with my husband.  I love being by the sea and generally being outside.  Through lockdown, I have realised how important it is for my wellbeing to have daily time outside. 

I am basically a big kid and have never lost the feelings of awe and wonder about the small things.  I love stars, birthdays, Christmas and snow.  People told me I would grow out of it but there’s no sign of it yet.  I read every night before bed, have a passion for chocolate (and food in general) and am very caring to the ones I hold dear.

I have a love of learning, which led me to complete my Masters Degree in Autism and Education.  Before this, I did a BSc in Psychology and my PGCE teaching qualification.

When and why did you start actively advocating?

I am a very empathetic person and always wanted to do something that would help others.  After my Psychology degree, I started working as a Learning Support Assistant in a specialist school for autistic children.  This is where my passion for autism first began, and I then did my PGCE to become a qualified teacher.  However, in the mainstream classroom, I missed being able to focus purely on the autistic students and so then found my dream role as a Specialist Advisory Teacher for Autism.

I am blessed in this role as I am able to advocate for many different young people and their families.  A lot of the role involves coaching and advising schools as to what they can do to better support pupils through education.  But I found that there was a gap missing for the young person – how did they better understand their autism identity? 

So, I then developed an Understanding Diagnosis programme, which is now offered across the borough in varying forms.  Through delivering this, I have had the pleasure of hearing from so many young people about their direct life experiences of autism. 

I find these individuals so interesting and inspiring.  I am very passionate about language used and work hard to try and promote a positive understanding of autism, for example, by referring to ‘autism’ rather than ‘ASD’ and keeping informed on the preferences of actually autistic individuals.

My research project for my Masters was focused on inclusive research methods and finding out what approaches autistic individuals prefer.  I have also worked hard to put together programmes of events and interest groups to increase a positive understanding of autism within the community, and to support different community groups to access information.

What do you love most about working with autistic people?

I love the difference. Each time I get complacent, a student will do something that I didn’t expect that keeps me on my toes.  I value the honesty and through conversations I discover different ways of viewing things and this makes me question what I have been conditioned to accept as ‘social norms’.  I find that many autistic people find pleasure in the smaller or more unusual things in life and I appreciate that genuineness and dedication. 

Related: Ask Autistic Advocates: Amy Richards

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What was the biggest life lesson your job as a specialist advisory teacher has taught you?

Unfortunately, my job has taught me that change takes a long time.  Seemingly simple things such as spreading the message around terminology, has taken years of dedication and I am still faced with people using the term ‘ASD’ on a weekly basis.

I haven’t accepted the fact that we may not see my vision for an inclusive society in my lifetime, I’m keeping hold of my childlike hope and optimism for that one!  However, my job has also taught me that most people are kind and well-meaning, they may just not have any experience or information about autism and would like to help if they knew how to.

What myth would you like to bust?

That there are more autistic boys than girls!  Statistically yes, there are more males diagnosed as autistic than females, but the current understanding is that it is closer to being equal.

The problem is, most of the previous research is focused on males and as a result, the diagnostic criteria has been centered around the typical male presentation of autism.  This means that autistic females have previously been poorly understood and this has led to a generation of women who have not fully understood their identity. I heard recently of women in their eighties who were seeking out a diagnosis, showing how important it is to be able to fully understand yourself.

On top of this, us women are pretty good at masking differences, looking around and copying what others are doing. Many autistic females do this to try and ‘fit in’ or feel accepted by society but the long-term result of this is often a feeling of exhaustion and a negative impact on mental health.

I am so glad to see so many autistic and proud women writing books, taking to the media and sharing their experiences via social media platforms, and I hope this will help to expel that myth over time.

What advice would you give to autistic students trying to navigate through school/university?

Prepare in advance: If possible, try and find out who your support network will be in school/university.  Is there a SENCo, specialist teacher/teaching assistant, counsellor, or pastoral care lead?

Find someone you trust and try to meet with them as soon as you can, and talk through any difficulties you have.  Education settings are bound by law to provide ‘reasonable adjustments’ to ensure that young people can access education.

An example of this could be allowing you to wear headphones when travelling round the school or transitioning between lessons at a different time, to avoid the noisy, crowded hallways.  Obviously, the suggestion has to be ‘reasonable’ but most school staff want to help, they just don’t always understand what the problem is and what they can do, so don’t be afraid to ask and self-advocate.

Find your tribe! Finding a person or group that you feel you can truly be yourself with, is so important for wellbeing.  This might be an online tribe, but it can also be within school/university.  If you have a particular interest, tell the person you trust and see if they can find someone else who shares your passion.

Now that we are all clued up on the world of Zoom, they don’t even have to be in your school – the staff member could reach out to other schools and arrange a virtual club for you to share this interest with.  If you find that your peer group is a bit ‘judgey’ (judges your differences negatively) try not to take this personally – this is their issue and most of them are acting in this way to try and fit in as well (although it’s not a very kind way of doing things).

You keep ‘doing you’ – be your true self and remember that school days are only a small part of your life in the grand scheme of things.  However, if someone is being rude and making you feel really low, tell someone (or block/report them online).

Look after your own wellbeing:  I mentioned having an online tribe earlier, but it’s also important to keep boundaries in place so that you remain healthy, get enough sleep and have generally good wellbeing.

Exercise, time outside, talking to others and good sleep are essential for wellbeing and sometimes spending too much time on your phone or device can get in the way of these other things. Have set times when you switch off from socials and try to stick to this.

Too much time with tech can actually increase anxiety.  Finding time for anxiety busting activities such as mindfulness, meditation, yoga and walking can help you to feel a little calmer.

Follow Rebecca on Instagram @theteacherwhocametosee

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